How Burnout Changed the Way I Live and Work

What Burnout Felt Like For Me

This cascade realistically started in 2020 when everything became really uncertain. I found myself without reliable or consistent housing (again), back in my home country, and with no one to rely on but myself. Fast forward to 2021, I landed a marketing agency job I loved. This was my first major step into my chosen career. In 2022 I decided I wanted to pursue my dream of full-time travel again, despite the fact that I was still moving constantly. I just wanted it to be more on my terms, so I launched my creative agency Nordover Creative. You can read more about that on my blog 10 Lessons From a Failed Entrepreneur. 

In the end of 2022 and early 2023, despite having “made it” and meeting my financial goals in my business to support my travels, I crashed and burned HARD. After an ER visit, adrenal burnout, strain on my relationship, and other external life circumstances causing immense pressure, I had to drop it all. 

I simply ran out of energy after running on fumes for nearly a year straight, and with an overwhelming sense of fatigue and frazzled nervous system, I had to let control over practically everything in my life. For the remainder of 2023 I couldn’t work, staved off almost daily panic attacks, and found even the most menial of household tasks overwhelming.

I would highly, highly recommend not letting yourself get to this point if you can avoid it.

My Burnout Symptoms

This sounds really bad, but it had gotten way past the point of no return before I recognized any symptoms for what they were. However, what I remember in the months to years leading up until my complete crash were the following:

- constantly wired feeling

- energy crashes after exercise

- chronic digestive issues

- food intolerances

- food allergy rash or eczema that showed up on my inner arms, eyelids, and neck

- caffeine addiction

- chronic fatigue

- weak immune system

- ADHD

- Poor short-term memory

- long-term memory gaps

- painful menstrual cycle

- debilitating cramps

- lack of motivation

- lack of joy or other positive emotions

- chronic anxiety (feeling frazzled all the time)

- procrastination

- inability to relax

- inability to concentrate on anything !

But without slipping into a dark and depressing space, I want to highlight that this was actually exactly what I needed to finally look at how misaligned my lifestyle was to who I really am. 

Looking back now, so much of what drove me had been ego, a desire for external validation, and an overcompensation for what I was most insecure about, which was my sensitivity to the world around me.

To say these past two years has been an identity shift has been an understatement. I’ve had to essentially let go of the entire framework that has gotten me through my teenage and young adult years, and to relearn who I am almost entirely from scratch. The bad news is that this has been immensely challenging considering it’s been a loss of identity from all sides. The great news is that I’m now far more connected with myself in an authentic way and feel much more like the open, idealistic child I used to love being - just with much more experience and resilience now.

With that said, here are the primary shifts I’ve made in my life that I intend to keep for the foreseeable future. I don’t want to overgeneralize and say these will work for everyone, as we’re all wired differently and there’s never a one-size-fits-all approach to wellbeing. These are simply the most significant shifts that have allowed me to be more grounded, healthy, happy, and content with my life.

1. Needing to Be Productive

This has been the single most challenging cultural ideal to break free from. Historically I’ve blamed modern American culture for imposing this on me, however I’ve since realized that if I don’t like how this influences my life, I need to be stronger than the influence itself.

My extensive time in Spain has made this process easier than it might be for some - I’ve learned to regularly tap into my “inner Spaniard,” or rather, hone in on my past experiences of ease, connection, and balance that was strongly impressed upon me from Spanish culture, and drawing from my experiences of being a different person while in a different culture. Being a deeply feeling person, I’ve found that meditating on specific feelings or energy within myself is a really helpful way to build and cultivate the person I want to be.

With that, I’ve begun rejecting doing things for the sake of productivity only. This might sound extreme, but my goal is to unlearn the habit sufficiently so that when I’m ready, I can reintegrate the benefits of this on my own terms, with a balanced perspective, and ideally greater self-awareness later. 

Instead, I’ve been trying to allow space for the fuller spectrum of activities or non-activities, and letting things develop without needing my day to simply be “productive”.

Essentially, I’ve been trying to break the habit of going nowhere really fast and efficiently

2. Choosing Time Instead of Money

While this is perhaps a shorter-term goal, it’s been one of the most instrumental means of accomplishing everything else on this list. My focus lately has been on making just enough money to get my basics covered, such as food, housing, and transportation, enough so that I can spend the rest of my days how I please.

My relationship with money has historically been a very unhealthy one based on scarcity and the feeling of “never having enough” or “I can only rest and do what I want when I make a lot of money”. 

Having successfully made a lot of money with my business, I found that I had no time and frankly, the stress was not worth the money. Money alone did not get me where I wanted to go, and I’m finding that this is also an internal cultivation, not always an external lack.

You might think I’m crazy and retort something like, “in this economy, are you crazy?!” and I was plagued by the same thing for ages. It took me until late last year before I had a perspective shift around how much of the pressure for money is driven by what others have and what the cultural standard is - NOT what is required for my individual comfort and happiness. 

Let’s paint a picture: If you make approximately $30,000/year, you’re in the top 1-2% of wealth in the world. The global median income is a mere $5,000 per YEAR. Sure, we have higher living expenses than most countries. However, even living with minimum wage one can do substantially better than most people in the world; you might not feel it compared to your neighbors or peers, but you are, in fact, doing better than you think.

I’ve met very happy, content people from around the world with substantially less than I’ve had, and it occurred to me that I’d rather be like them than burning myself out trying to have more things that I don’t really care about.

A slow, leisurely, and restful Monday spent outdoors, in the sun with my husband means far more to me than a nicer car, new smartphone, takeout dinner for the 4th night in a row, or name brand anything (okay, maybe I wouldn’t say no to some new camera gear). To be fair, my husband is the primary income earner right now and this is an invaluable help, however his philosophy is the same and at this stage of life we’re okay taking a breather and learning to work for just what we need and using our time for more fulfilling things.

This might not work as well for families with children, but then again maybe it would! I don’t know, but for a married couple with no children and minimal responsibilities, we’re savoring it while it lasts.

It’s just not worth sacrificing my nervous system and capacity to live fully to meet someone else’s expectations.

3. Having a Clean Diet

Regarding money, it might surprise you to hear that food is by far our biggest expense, including rent. The reason being that since childhood, I’ve had numerous food sensitivities and with the compounded stress from the past few years, now have a very fickle digestive system and often moods that are strongly influenced by this. My husband too has noticed the difference after clean eating versus eating out or eating lower quality foods - thus, this is a priority for us both.

I mentioned above that I’ve had chronic panic attacks that can come out of seemingly nowhere, though I strongly suspect they’re related to a dysregulated nervous system and many unresolved emotions I’ve never processed. However, things like caffeine, sugar, processed carbs, and gluten (even in sourdough, sadly) have been known to trigger panic attacks or strong bouts of anxiety and it’s really just not worth it anymore.

The priorities for a clean diet are regular meals, 100-150g of animal protein every day, organic produce, grass fed meat, and Chinese medicine and Ayurvedic principles for strong digestion and a balanced nervous system. Lots of clean, filtered water is also a big priority and surprisingly difficult to find in the U.S.

A few other things we try to be mindful of are microplastics, pesticides, growth hormones, antibiotics in meat, seed oils, and processed ingredients and chemicals period. The more we stick with this, the better we feel overall so it’s definitely been worth it.

4. Sticking to a Rhythm & Routine

Who knew that ever-changing time zones, wake and sleep times, eating sporadically, and living in daily unpredictability can wreak havoc on your body’s systems? This is the natural plight of full-time travelers and backpackers, and I think usually we can do this for pretty long periods of time without any real negatives. 

However, I think there comes a point where it can simply be careless and cause more trouble than it’s worth, and that has been the case for me.

This feeling of endless spontaneity and lack of restrictions used to make me feel free…until it didn’t. I was addicted (and still am a little bit) to the highs and lows of this, but find I’m much happier when I’m grounded and consistent. 

I’m still working on building this from scratch and experimenting with the routines and rituals that make me feel and be my best. So far I thrive on having my morning matcha, getting to bed by 10:30pm, waking up by 7 or 8 (still working on this), getting 1-2 walks in nature in per day, and simply eating 3 solid, protein-dense meals per day. Everything else is 10x more manageable so long as these happen. 

One thing that has been really beneficial is having a gym membership and using ClassPass, which I credit for getting me addicted to reformer pilates and yoga, all while feeling fantastic and staying healthy. 

If you haven’t tried this yet, I strongly recommend you give this 2-week free trial a chance! There’s zero obligation to continue after those two weeks and you can cancel anytime.

5. Doing Things for the Process, Not the Outcome

In the spirit of getting free of the productivity trap, I’ve been giving myself the freedom to do only things that I love doing (aside from work, of course, but I happen to like my work) for their own sake, rather than hyperfocusing on the outcome.

When this happens, I notice I focus way less on ego, outcome, and limited mental capacity to get something done and more on the presence of the moment - a flow-state, you could say, and I not only enjoy it more but I get more done.

You might ask why this matters? Well, for you it simply might not make a difference. My reasoning is that I know if my emotions and sense or presence are engaged in something rather than strictly thought and willpower, that is far more a reward than reaching the finish line. This means that not only do I enjoy what I do and do better work, but I’m able to be far more consistent in said things and have a much greater, lasting sense of satisfaction over it. 

One example of this is studying Scottish Gaelic (with Glossika - my new fav language platform) for no other reason than just because I love it.

6. Listening to My Intuition

Rather than being heady and over-intellectualizing everything, or focusing on the endless list of “shoulds” (and their counterparts guilt and poor self-worth), I try to tune in predominantly to my intuition as my guide. I’ve long known that this was my superpower, yet never felt supported or validated because of it and consequently let a strong sense of shame creep in instead. However, this is my compass and always leads me to true north, no matter what my mind says and I’ve learned it’s best to follow and support this part of myself. 

Despite it being what’s generally recommended, logic, strategy, and “shoulds” really have never done me any favors. Maybe that makes me irrational, or maybe it lets wisdom creep in. Only time will tell, but I do know my deepest work and best decisions consistently come from this source and I’m doing my best to follow it.

So far, so good.

7. Prioritizing Rest and Nothing Time

It seems to me that, strangely enough, nothing is more taboo than prioritizing rest at the expense of doing - especially as a woman. Modern culture loves to glorify the burnt-out, busy, achieving woman. If you’re one of those who can manage it and loves it, more power to you! I am absolutely, definitively not that person, and no longer want to be. 

There’s an Italian phrase I love: La dolce de niente - The sweetness of doing nothing. I never really understood what that meant or why it was important until recently.

What does this look like? Instead of being afraid of all of the empty space that comes from “nothingness,” I’ve been allowing myself to sit there in the midst of it, sometimes for days or weeks, and allowing things to come through it. 

No forcing action, direction, or decision - just letting things come to me in the right time or not at all. Letting old thoughts and feelings creep up that I’d long since suppressed, or letting the answer to a crossroads come to me when I’m ready for it. I have plenty of “open” questions and uncertainty about my future, but I’m learning to accept that I might just not be ready to take some steps and that for now, this period is one of rest, replenishment, and timely discernment - not asserting my will over anything.

8. Not Traveling

Perhaps what has been the biggest identity loss and most welcome change is moving into an apartment (our first home together, actually!) and being rooted for at least a full year. Words can’t describe how comforting it is to me to know I’ll have the same roof over my head for a full year, which feels like a lifetime compared to our usual pace. 



It’s been more of a necessity for my husband and I both, and as trivial as it sounds nothing this year has made me more excited than the thought of having some plants, unpacking and hanging my own clothes up, and having my own kitchen to cook in regularly. Oh, and to finally unpack and organize the absurd amount of tea we’ve accumulated and been traveling with for the last 6 months. 

Had I not had so many food issues to deal with, this probably wouldn’t have been such a big deal, but it is what it is and it’s been an extremely welcome change of pace.

We still have travels planned, and much of the next decade will probably be abroad. However, just for this year, for now, we’re resting, recharging, awaiting some loose ends to resolve, and honing in on our next direction for a bit.

We’ve also been thoroughly enjoying being in Texas with both new and old friends of ours, which is a serious luxury when you’ve been moving around so much! I’m loving building this new community of ours.

I wrote a blog specifically about recovering from travel burnout here: What Is Travel Burnout and How to Overcome It?

9. Acting From Desire, Not Obligation

You might have noticed this theme showing up several times and with different angles so far. The reason for this is because it’s a huge, foundational part of what I’m trying to overcome right now. I think many of us feel like we need to prove our fundamental worth to those we love through our achievements and this is one of the biggest lies to plague a person. Any relationship that requires this for love is not a relationship grounded in love, but transaction.

In my case, I believe this stems from my unhealthy relationship with my parents growing up, where love was achieved by making my parents look good in the eyes of others. The impression that was left upon me was that nothing about me was uniquely lovable or worth nurturing since I was a mere extension of both of my parents and their image.  

Consequently, “performing” has become a deeply ingrained habit I’m trying to break. If you’re a normal, relatively healthy person, you don’t expect people to perform or achieve so you can love them, right? If you do, I strongly urge you to contemplate why, and if you don’t, why do you expect this from yourself?

All this to say, I’m cultivating a stronger sense of where my desires lie and cultivating them has been really helpful. Sometimes it’s thoroughly enjoyable to do embroidery, hand-sew something, or read a fiction book simply because I desire to do so, not because my worth is based on it.

10. Allowing Myself to Be Feminine

This is probably a hot topic you’ve seen all over social media lately, and it’s no wonder this is such a talked-about shift amongst women right now. We leave in an intensely masculine society, and, while this is great in many regards, for some of us who are naturally very feminine this can weigh heavily against our nature. 

What this means for myself is very much the core of this whole blog post and the shift in my life right now. I’ve spent a lot of my life feeling ashamed about wanting to be girly, wear pretty clothes, desire a slower-paced life, being surrounded by beauty, and wanting to live in a way that feels personally aligned - not driven entirely by what’s functional, practical, or rational. 

Obviously you want to take your brain with you through life, however being in your head all the time is extremely overrated. Sometimes it’s nice to be grounded in your own body, in-tune with your own experience, and nurturing more flow and play into your life. That’s exactly what I’m doing as a priority. This is easier said than done, and it’s really easy to become disconnected from ourselves in this fast-paced society. 

11. Allowing People to Be Exactly As They Are

If there’s any profoundly beneficial life lesson I’ve learned in my life (and this one predominantly from my husband) it’s to learn to accept and allow people to be exactly as they are. We all get caught up with wanting or needing people around us to be different for us - maybe it’s their habits, maybe it’s how they love us (or don’t), maybe it’s that they don’t share the same enthusiasm for our hobbies. But acceptance is the greatest way we can show love and respect for people.

This doesn’t mean that we need to tolerate poor behavior or disrespect from others, it means acknowledging that a person is who they are, you’re not going to change it (and maybe you shouldn’t try), and that you can make a better decision about their place in your life from this place.

Furthermore, you can begin giving yourself this same courtesy, which is often what we really struggle with. 

12. Breaking Off Toxic and Unsupportive Relationships

I never thought that I would come to a place in my life where I had a family that genuinely valued my presence and contributions and friends that were legitimately amazing, loyal, and supportive people. Nineteen year old me couldn’t even imagine this.

However, thanks to my lovely in-laws and the beautiful friendships I’ve picked up over the last few years, my tolerance and dependence on toxic relationships has lessened considerably. Again, my husband has probably had the strongest influence of anyone on this because once you know what real love, loyalty, and safety feels like, it’s really hard to settle for less.

I also feel safe enough in my current relationships to not “need” anyone to like or approve of me, and go through the dumb games we usually do to validate ourselves. It’s definitely been the case that the right people will find you when you’re ready for them.

13. Choosing Soul Over Ego

Without getting too woo woo or spiritual (which I often see turn to greater ego), per se, something I’m consciously choosing is to live in alignment with where I believe my soul is supposed to go instead of getting wrapped up in where the world is going.

We all need ego to navigate the world, and I’ve lived in both extremes of all ego-mind and all soul before. Neither is sustainable on its own, as we need to navigate the physical world but we also yearn for something to make our lives worth living for. 

It’s a hard middle-ground to walk, but considering the amount of times I’ve been safely delivered, provided for, and supported by forces unseen and beyond coincidence, I’ve put my trust in this more and more for my own individual path. 

To put it simply, I feel like the best, healthiest, and most authentic version of myself like this and I feel like my capacity to serve and love others is greatly improved this way. 

14. Choosing Authenticity Over Familiarity

This might all seem a bit extreme for discussing burnout, but I can’t even over emphasize how much I never want to live the life that brought me to the point of burnout I’m now at. Looking back now, so much of who I thought I was or wanted to do was almost entirely built from the desires of others, or from the limited experiences I had lived. In nearly all cases, nothing about the beliefs, identity, and sense of purpose I had adopted actually served me or took who I really am into consideration.

We all initially live the lives our culture, parents, and early experiences imparted on us and it’s entirely natural. However, that doesn’t mean that these things - good or bad - determine who we are and what our lives will become. 

Something I’ve found out that goes against modern wisdom is that in many ways, I don’t think even we can determine what we become. At least not in such black and white terms. From my view the best we can do is learn to accept who we are and what we’ve become as fully as possible, and only then might we have any freedom to influence our outcomes.

Choosing authenticity has meant unlearning the templates I had unconsciously absorbed - what “success” was and should look like, how I was “supposed” to show up, who I needed to be to feel safe or worthy. Familiarity has kept me running loops: overachieving, people-pleasing, working against my best interests, hiding, yet always performing. It was comforting, but it was killing me.

Authenticity, on the other hand, is uncomfortable, but at least it’s real. It’s slow, quiet, and often invisible to others. It means disappointing people who knew the old version of me. It means letting go of dreams I never truly wanted, and identities that once made me feel powerful. But it also means finally breathing in my own skin. Finally asking: What feels right to me, even if no one understands it?

And every time I answer that question honestly, I move a little further out of survival mode and a little closer to a life that actually feels like mine.

Where I’m At Now

I don’t have a perfect system, and I’m not here to tell you that I have it all figured out. Far from it! I still have days where I spiral, where I feel unmotivated or overwhelmed by the tiniest thing, where I doubt whether any of this is “working” or if I’m on the wrong path.

But the difference now is that I don’t bulldoze through those feelings anymore and try to mask them with something else. I don’t ignore them, distract myself, or try to think myself out of them like I used to. I listen better, I slow down (once impossible for me to do!). I ask what they’re trying to tell me.

Burnout stripped away every illusion I had about myself, my value, and what it means to live a meaningful life. It was brutal and very, very raw.

And while I wouldn't wish that level of collapse on anyone, I’m genuinely grateful I went through it, because now I know what not to do. It’s been a hard and painful enough lesson that I know I’ll never need to learn it like that again. 

I’ve had to relearn how to be a person - my own person, and not a machine or automaton of someone else’s design . And in doing so, I’ve gained something I never really had before: a life that actually feels like mine.

If you’re reading this and something in you feels seen - like you’re on the edge of burnout, or deep in the middle of it - I just want to say you might just be in the right place. You’re not broken or “wrong,” just tired of living a life that’s out of alignment with who you really are. That’s higher wisdom trying to speak to you, not failure. I know that’s not what it feels like most of the time.

If you need permission to rest, to change, to step away, to let go - I hope this gives you that. You don’t have to earn peace. You just have to stop pushing it away.

Here’s to slower mornings. Deeper breaths. Smaller, quieter lives that actually make sense. And maybe, if we’re lucky, the kind of joy that doesn’t need to be chased.

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